Shapeshifter

And so he left his vast riches, wealth and comfort in search of something meaningful ; worthwhile. I'd take the long and winding road to nowhere, just to find that bend, if there was even one.

Its karma. "Do unto others as you would do so to yourself." Yet I find myself engulfed in sheer defiance. The weather of late has been unpredictable, a direct comparison to myself these past few days. Why won't you take that risk? Its a dreadful repitition which goes around in a vicious cycle. How uncanny, that I should leave the seat reserved specially for me, for another seat which might not necessarily be available. I am appalled at my own conduct, seeing how I entrust my happiness in foreign hands. I am therefore no saint and retract my previous judgements on involved parties. Being entrapped in such scenarios gives me the birds' eye view and I am hasty to ammend my views. No doubt, it is my prerogative to move the tokens on the board, but what if the grass was greener on square one? Purge my sin.

4 am. My "endearing" GP teacher calls for me to finish my proposal before his lesson commences later. I wish I had continued my journey in Neverland. Being awake takes a toll on my severed self. The pangs of pain strike consecutively. Its so much easier to breakdown and allow tears to dominate. Lucky for those who are able to execute that emotion. I'm just jealous.

We, often are the very creators of our own catastrophies. I see the strong resemblance it has to my state of mind at the moment. Unbelievable, that I made my own choice on the paths. Yet the dissatisfaction and ramblings make it seem that I was no culprit. I had unknowingly turned the tables to my direction, without an accomplice.