Stagnant Minutes

4.47 am, still not crashing yet? Yup. I'm awake and turning my life nocturnal. Melatonin's helpful, but won't I get addicted to it? I don't wanna be reliant on such chemicals. I was sleeping fine till you had to leave on your holy journey. Of course you're in no way responsible for my sleep. What a ghastly way to start a new entry, I thought the firsts' were always positively happy. I refuse to pretend all's bliss just to please public eye. The truth is always pure, isn't it? Hate your texts sometimes. It can be so contradictingly convincing but yet a futile attempt to try and please. I can see through it like clear glass. I wish i couldn't though, so I'll just happily whistle away assuming all's well. Time seems to pass by like a gang of snails climbing hills since that day. I am so afraid to wake up. Its something I don't actually look forward to. Everyone knows when you sleep, your heart, soul and brain takes a break too. Whatever disaster that happened will all come to a standstill when a person sleeps. Mobile phones can be such an evil gadget too. Yeah of course they convenience lives. But they sure irritate me at the wrong time. Waking up to find an empty screen can be so torturing. Or worse still, a buzz from someone insignificant. How this thought is starting to sicken me already! Eat slugs. I hate to bother about you. Who knows you might just come back without your heart. Promises aren't guarantees. Especially when it comes to matters like these. So I am supposed to immaturely accuse you if you don't keep your word? I think I'll be the loser sinking in mud at the end of the day if I blamed you. But of course, people change all the time. And you are in no way indifferent.